Adult Dating Online – Handy Tips Any Woman Should Know

These days more and more people are looking for no-strings attached relationships, and this is the very reason why adult dating sites have become more popular over the years. Previously one would prowl bars and pubs for prospective no-strings-attached dates for a good night out, but with the advent of the internet, this particular method is slowly being phased out amongst the tech-savvy.

After all, why would anyone need to look in a bar for someone to have a good time with when you can do it right from home? However, apart from the convenience, there is also the “drunk” factor. Most often by the time you do find your date for the night you’d be too drunk to remember anything. Yet another thing to consider is the fact that the person you’ve just met might have the wrong idea about what constitutes a fun night for you. By the time you’re back at his home or hotel room it might just be a little too late.

This is why adult online dating sites have become the best alternative for consenting adults looking for no-strings attached relationships. Right from the get-go, everyone has a clear idea of what they’re looking for. With online dating sites, you won’t end up too drunk to remember or enjoy your night out (unless of course you choose to drink when you hook up anyway). Also, your judgment wouldn’t be clouded by severe inebriation, so you will still be able to make a conscious decision to stop and back out before things happen. This is just one of the reasons why such adult online dating sites are the safer avenue for such endeavors. Many people seem to have the opinion that such sites aren’t safe, but it is definitely much safer than meeting a total stranger at a bar who might turn out to be someone you might not have expected them to be.

Here are a few handy tips for women out there who might be looking for a no-strings-attached date for those lonely nights.

The first thing of course is to select your choice of adult online dating site. Obviously, you’ll want to pick a popular one, as it would be an indication of the level of service, and would provide you with a wide variety of choices to choose from with regards to your no-strings-attached date. You can refer to online reviews of such sites to help you make a decision on which site you should be a member of.

Having decided on a site, you can then create a profile of yourself. Usually such sites will offer you a free trial upon joining, and you would be able to create a profile then. One tip to remember is that for such sites your profile will have to be very appealing in order for you to achieve success in finding your choice of dates. Upload a provocatively attractive picture of yourself, write an intriguing profile that will leave prospective dates wanting to know more. You need to have an edge to beat the competition on such sites, so think outside of the box than when you generally would with a usual dating or social networking site.

A webcam is definitely handy to have, as webcam chatrooms play a significant part in adult online dating sites. It isn’t only for the viewing pleasure of your prospective date, but it would also help with your safety as well, as you would be able to see just who you’re dealing with before you decide to hook up.

When you do meet with your date (offline, that is), remember that you’re meeting them for the first time. Clear the air on what you both want and check to see if you’re both on the same wavelength so as to avoid any further disappointments. Always keep in mind that with adult dating online you always have a choice, compared to if you were to meet a total stranger in a bar.

Massage Therapist Vs Masseuse-Masseur – What Title Do Licensed Professional Body Workers Prefer?

I had a celebrity client in my private practice a couple months ago and when his session was up he sat up on the massage table and said quite politely, “can we have sex now, please.” I was taken aback by the request and wasn’t sure I heard correctly, so I said, huh? He repeated his request and I jokingly responded “not today, maybe next time” with a nervous giggle and kept on giving my follow-up care suggestions. Well, he was friendly, very open to the energy and therapy I delivered and let’s face it, most people will be in a “very loving head space” at the end of a really good massage. I didn’t want to abruptly change that. He returned for one more session, but I am now wondering whether he did so because I said “maybe next time” rather than respond that sex was not on my menu of services. Since I was a little surprised by his request, joke or no joke, I decided that I would always refer clients to my Menu of Services, and remind them that I am not licensed to practice anything else, especially that which is illegal.

Earlier this week, I put the word out on my fan page that I was in the hunt for a new place to reopen for business. I would be open to suggestions that afforded foot traffic, signage and which was low-budget and unencumbered by anything porn related. A male colleague sent me an email, reiterating his earlier advice that I get out of any business connected to the porn industry since landlords are less willing to rent space to these businesses. This, although my colleague knows I am not doing pornographic massage, and that there are legal and reputable places here for legitimate bodywork. He has not been to my practice, because he prefers to have a happy ending after his massage and so he goes to these other places that offer that. Not really “my loss”….

At a stage in my career/business where I, as a single woman with no support from anyone, am struggling to survive along with everyone else who don’t want to “cross over,” these suggestions sort of well…break my heart. It isn’t enough to be concerned that some psychopath or pervert is going to request a massage that I get chosen to go out and do; or worst, maybe he comes to my home for the massage and does something to ruin my sacred space. I am not better than doing pornographic massage and actually I would make better money and live better if I were to cross over. This I have been told by many of the male colleagues in this area. Some people I played poker with were very frank with me and indicated that if I offered happy endings, they’d be there three times per week. I am a good-looking woman and I can’t change that this is how men think and it is mostly who request massages. How disheartening for those who want their chosen field of work to be anything but salacious, lecherous, and pornographic. All I want to give is clean, healthy, therapeutic healing and rejuvenation delivered by a healthy, clean conduit with amazing, loving hands and heart. These scenarios are the reasons I despise the words masseuse and masseur. They imply erotic touch, something immoral and, well,…shameful…unless you are a “person of the night,” an escort, a prostitute who is proud and happy about being that. I AM A MASSAGE THERAPIST, OFFERING MASSAGE THERAPY; NOT THE SAME THING AS THESE PROUD PROSTITUTES.

Understandably, the Wikipedia says: “Those who practice massage as a career are referred to as masseurs, masseuses, or, if certified, as massage therapists.” The words masseuse and masseur are from a French word, Masser, which means “to massage,” “to knead” (as in bread), “to rub down,” “to mass or to throng together.” Hence the masseuse (female) and the masseur (male) does the “rubbing down” or [therapeutically] “mass or throng together” your broken spirits, bodies, energies, so that you heal, become whole again to go back out and face your challenges. These are the sentiments behind my massage practice. I desire to help people become whole again, if even for a moment, so that they can heal little by little and face their challenges with a loving feeling and maybe loving thoughts in their hearts. This was the original import of those words, although somewhere along the way they became popular in the whore houses of Europe, Asia and the Americas.

I belong to a religion in which modesty is a big deal. I have told many therein that I am a massage therapist and I watch for the look on their faces. Some have taken my card/number, possibly to “investigate” while others take it but will never call. Others have chosen not to associate with me because well, (1) I wear dreadlocks, which is to some an immodest, rebellious hairstyle among other things; and (2) they imagine that I am doing something “unholy” in my massage business and God knows where else I am unholy in my path and hence I must be ruled a bad associate. If I say I am a therapist, they instantly assume “physical therapist”…and that’s o.k…, but not massage therapist…they don’t know about that….

I have wondered what they would do if I said I was a gynecologist or urologist. Hmm…I wonder whether they would have a similar reaction. After all, these professionals look at vaginas and penises, etc. all day! These are the same people who go to the doctor and strip down for examinations and have no idea whether the doctor is a pervert, child molester, rapist, or whatever or care whether he or she shares their beliefs. They simply trust that he or she is a “doctor”, hence it’s fine and they assume no sexual connotation to this job title. Yet, our society has become so debased that people believe that sex and sexuality must be attached to every loving feeling or touch outside of that. It is “normal” to believe that one cannot touch another in a massage setting with only “therapeutic, non-sexual intentions.” One client told me I was being “absurd” and “unbelievable”, when I responded that I wasn’t thinking about any such thing when I massaged him or any other client. He couldn’t believe that I could have no sexual reaction to him or any other sexy men or women for whom I provided therapy. How unfortunate….

Recently, I renewed my certification with the California Massage Therapy Council. The recertification questionnaire asked the following questions (among others), the answers to which would determine my, and any “legitimate therapist’s”, legal qualification:

“Step 2-Professional Status Questions: A “Yes” answer to any of the following questions requires a separate statement explaining in your own words the complete details regarding the incident or event. All supporting documentation must be attached to your recertification application at the time it is filed with the California Massage Therapy council (“CAMTC”). CAMTC reserves the right to request additional documentation as needed. Failure to disclose information is considered an attempt to procure a certificate by fraud, misrepresentation, or mistake and is grounds for denial, suspension, or revocation of a CAMTC Certificate. All questions are required to be answered before being allowed to continue.

1. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you received an administrative citation related to, or been refused a license, or license-renewal to practice massage therapy or any other profession in any city, county, state, country, or jurisdiction?

2. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you had a license, certificate, or permit to practice massage therapy, operate a massage establishment, or had any other license, permit, or certificate to practice any other profession revoked, suspended, or otherwise acted against (including administrative citation, probation, fine, reprimand, or surrender of license, permit, or certificate)?

3. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you had, or is there currently pending against you in any city, county, state, country, or jurisdiction, a complaint against your professional conduct (sexual misconduct or otherwise) or professional competence?

4. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you been arrested and had criminal charges filed against you for penal code section 647(b) or any other act punishable as a sexually related crime?

5. Since the date you signed and dated your initial application for certification to CAMTC, have you been convicted of any offense other than a minor traffic violation? Convictions MUST be reported even if they have been adjudicated, dismissed, expunged, or if a diversion program has been completed. The definition of “conviction” includes a plea of nolo contendere (no contest), as well as pleas or verdicts of guilty. You MUST include misdemeanor as well as felony convictions.

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, please give us your written statement describing the complete details regarding the incident or event.”

This one was exceptionally notable: “I understand and agree that renewal of my CAMTC certificate may be denied based on unprofessional conduct if I practice massage at a massage establishment, or own a massage establishment, that advertises in any adult and/or sexually oriented section of any form of media, whether print or digital.”

Yes, some people will lie in response to these questions, but for how long, since it is the D.O.J. and F.B.I. that are behind the CAMTC and our documents are scanned. It is then, very clear to me that there is a mass movement to garner a greater respect for the craft of massage therapy and for legitimate therapists to stand united, separate from the “rub ‘n tug” houses with their masseuses and masseurs. If you are not French, then don’t use “masseuse or masseur” to describe your therapist unless they perform erotic massage. Heck, even if you are French and you know these words have a negative connotation in the field of bodywork, don’t use them to describe this legitimate craft. Follow the lead of the CAMTC and set the bar for your practice and for what you, as a consumer, expect of your massage establishments.

Therapists must consider whether they are providing a service they can be proud of in any discussion? Are you a very happy and willing rub ‘n tug masseuse/masseur? Set the bar and draw the line. Do you want patrons to respect you and your skill set. People say who they are in the same breath as saying what they do. I’m Dr. So and So; I’m Professor so and so; I’m Detective Jones. Never once have I inquired what someone did for work and the response was that they were an escort, erotic masseuse, etc. I proudly declare I am a legal and certified massage therapist. I have no desire to do anything shameful in this business. I seek to nurture and build a clientele that appreciates what I do for them, their health and who is generous in spirit to keep the circle of love going. I seek clients who have not sold into the idea that loving touch must be sexual. Together, maybe, we can contribute to healing the world, one body at a time and make it so that love, loving, healing touch becomes such a positive and popular thing that one doesn’t need to associate it with sex regardless of the parasympathetic responses to this well-needed therapy.

I gave my card to someone I met just days after writing this post and he called to find out “how long have I been a masseuse.” When I said I wasn’t a “masseuse”, he corrected himself and asked what’s the difference…. Hopefully, this discussion helps to clear up many things for the other inquiring minds and help to dignify those that are real and legal.

JL Campbell is a CAMTC Certified, Licensed, Therapeutic-Based Massage Therapist and Owner of Health Conscious Spa & Wellness, which will reopen shortly in Sherman Oaks, CA. Current independent practice is “in/out,” private, legal and professional, and as needed at a local spa. Please visit [http://www.healthconsciousspa.com] for massage and body scrub descriptions, hours of operation, travel requirements for out calls and pricing.

Don’t Get Burned By Web Designers

If you bring up the subject of web design with small business people, it wouldn’t take long to find someone who has been burned by a web designer. Perhaps they have even come to the conclusion that a web site is not worth the expense. Let’s look at how and why that happens, and outline some success principles that will help you when you need web design services. Since so many web designers get it wrong, the web design principles that actually work may surprise you.

One of the problems with web design is that software programs have made it seem easy to create a web site. If you have the software, it would not take you long to build a web site. There are an abundance of inexpensive templates available to make it even easier to put together a web site. Getting a professional looking web site is not difficult at all. So you may wonder, why is that a problem?

The process of creating a web site does not end with making it look professional. In fact, that could very well be one of the least important aspects of a web site design. Let’s face it, there are ugly web sites that make a lot of money. Since life is not fair, there are great looking web sites that make little or no money. I’m not saying the professionalism of your web site is not important; I am saying it’s not enough.

There is a serious flaw in the web design industry, and small business owners are especially prone to fall victim to it. The problem is that usually, very little business planning goes into a web site design. Too many web designers are more concerned with selling web design than taking the time to build an effective web site.

This deficiency stems from the fact that very few web designers are marketing people. Small business people do not have big advertising budgets, so they are easily attracted to the low rates of average web designers. Good marketing means setting priorities and effectively using your resources to accomplish goals.

The one element I find seriously missing in web design is the very thing that is fundamentally important; that element is uniqueness. A Unique Selling Point (USP) is one of the basic tenets of marketing. You must answer the questions: why should I buy from you, and, what makes you different from my other choices? If you fail in this area, your web site visitor will not be kind to you. They will leave and not come back; they will probably not tell you why they left either.

Read your web site copy to see if it contains another common error. Does it say, “We this,” and, “We that?” Do not “we” on your web site visitors! Your web site copy should speak to the visitor, address their needs, and solve their problem. It must compel them in some way. You need to draw them in and sell them on your solution.

When you take notice of how many web sites violate these basic marketing principles above, you will begin to see how you have the opportunity to rise above your competitors. Just think, if the majority of business web sites are violating even these most basic principles, how much more could you benefit from hiring a web designer who understands marketing?

There is a lot of emphasis placed on search engine optimization (SEO), and there should be, because this is very important if you want to have your web site found by people using the search engines. For most web sites, search engines account for 80% to 95% of all visitors. However, as important as SEO is, if you have a web site that is not creating sales with the visitors you are already getting, SEO is the wrong priority.

The next principle is the one you will probably find the most surprising. People actually read web sites! Yes, they do have a short attention span, and we will look at that point next, but they do read. There have been many studies done to document the way people use web pages. Even though so much attention is given to graphics, the studies show that well over 75% of the time, web page users read the text before they notice graphics.

This does not mean that graphics are unimportant. Visual elements are one of the many advantages a web site can provide. When you consider that people use the Internet to seek information, then it does makes sense that they will read your web site’s content. Providing the right information can mean the difference between winning a customer, or surrendering them to your competition.

I also promised to cover the short attention span issue. It is often called the 3 second rule. According to web studies, if you cannot capture the attention of your visitor in approximately 3 seconds, that’s how fast they usually leave your web site. I suspect the reason is because so many web sites are such a horrible waste of time, that people’s patience has been worn down. The solution is to have a fast loading page that quickly clues them in that you can solve their problem. If they can “skim” in a few seconds, and you grab their attention, you have successfully drawn them in so they will stay a while.

Statistically, it takes 7 visits before you make a sale. If your web site is not done correctly, you will have dismal results because you can’t get them to come back seven times. That is why so many web site owners are disappointed with their success. That is why some web designers provide what seems to be a bargain, while other web designers have to charge more to give you a better value. It takes more time to plan and create a good web site design.

The good news is that most of your competitors will go for the bargain and suffer the same fate as everyone else who does not realize the value of an effective web site design. Very few of them will invest the resources needed for success. If you do, you can win. This does not mean you need the big budget of a major corporation, or that it has to be expensive, it just means you need to be willing to do better than average. The rewards are much greater when you stretch beyond the norm.